Thursday, 13 February 2014

SNEX IN THE CITY

On the eve of Valentines' day,
"LUV KA LAXMAN REKHA" 
goes VIRAL on YouTube
Tomorrow is the day of love. Actually, it will be better to say, the day for the lovers. On this eve, our reporter Sumubai found a short film going viral on YouTube. Its "LUV KA LAXMAN REKHA" by Prej Ranjan. It got 3Million clicks in a single evening, can you believe!

Our reporter gives its review in short. Its a simple love story, but with complex side effects. It also shows how minds get dominated by the affection for love. The definition may have changed over the time and age, also with the spelling to LUV!

Movies like LSD has also shown many edges of sharp shooter lovers. But this short film makes a real difference, a different taste for the new generation.


Its really about a new-age love. When You login, you logout. You hock in, you hock out. You chat, you spat.
But start to love it, as much you hate it!

Its hot, its spicy, looks like Chinese dishes,
(Already cooked on Chinese gadgets!)
As you see, you feel the appetite. 
May not be right on the belly but sometime few inches above it, sometimes few inches below it....

As she starts ringing, you start singing....

Blue Eyes hypnotize, you say YoYo,
glossy lips, bouncy hips, you say
 YoYo
if you like, you may zoom
if you need, find a room!
Yo Yo...

Its a story of a busy bee, preparing like you to try luck on V-day. Gifts, Roses, Deo, shaving creams...it will be a date, or may be a fate! A guy so Confused, so Determined....in thoughts always in dirty mind!

As the reel life story begun. 
It was a nice Valentine day, a stormy night & obviously followed by an i-pill morning.

After swallowing it, the protagonist girl, found a packet on his purse. She was confused, he had it, then why not they had it?

Does a thin film make any difference! Its a matter of belief, a belief in you, belief for the partner. And it should be the foundation of love. They have already stands on that foundation stone....., and what left, what next....and then the real luv began....for life...

Prem Ranjan has filmed it. You can also surely define your own "LUV KA LAXMAN REKHA" in it. 

Statuary warning: Drinking and smoking with "instant intimate friends" is strictly prohibited as per guardian's rule. You may be hypnotize by "ecstasy materials" easily. If you love it, you can have it. By the way, Who does really  care,  in today's love life. You have always have an log-out button in this web-world! And "For the sake of environment, please avoid plastics. Let give AIDS a fair chance!" 
Happy Valentine day....but not an i-pill morning for sure!

Tuesday, 11 February 2014

CHEAPONOMICS

"Ambanism" the most dangerous virus found in Corporate systems, as declared by Kej-persky
New anti-virus launched in Indian political market primarily now crossing its Laxman rekha! It is now eyeing to launch its war on  the wide spread, and highly volatile field of corporate systems. Kej-perisky now set to clean up the corporate file systems too!
The Dilli market has been already won by this start up. They have made the established companies to leave . They have now taken the job  of being watch dogs of this rivalry in every steps. and do negative publicity by every possible ways! Now from Nehru place to Chandni Chowk gallis "Kej-persky" become the talk of the town, and also in tier-II & III cities across the country!As per the critics, Kej-perisky is too much sensitive and raise doubts on every file that comes its way! But Kej-persky anti-virus is very effective one, that detects all the corrupt files in the system, as claimed by the CEO Kejri. The biggest embarrassment rises from this anti-virus software is, when its unique feature not only identify the file, but also name of the file creator too! It has also issue press releases too!


This is a brainchild of an IITian and improvised by a TAX official training inputs. That has gave this anti-virus a sharp, cutting and viral edge!

Now, feared by its gaining popularity, Corporate honchos started lobbying to ban this new anti-virus, which become threat for their operating systems!

The CEO Kejri declared out today, naming it as the most dangerous virus in Indian Corporate system! He identified ia as "Ambanism". The virus that can create, edit and delete any file system. 

It may affect your personal files, corporate files, even police FIRs too. This virus has also has excellent power to "even modify norms" in any Govt or non-Govt. issues and regulation. It has masters on Business policy files.

If once this virus catch your system, it may fill "words" into the existing norms, delete the unwanted lines and automatically fill up with suitable norms for its client. It will even give a message displayed in the main window, certifying the Excellency of "corporate reforms".  It also provide you the option for a press release too!

This virus equipped with an excellent media management module also. If you are watching A,B,C,D news channels, reading E,F,G,H news papers, watching I,J,K,L PR firm advertising products, and if you catch the pulse of Corporate Company Law alphabets, you will find, this are owned by M,N,O companies, which is hold by P and Q companies which are solely own subsidiaries of Reliancee Media Group that are the legal owner of "Ambanism". Ultimately, every word, that, print, uttered are being corrupt with this "Ambanism virus"! Poeple will find it very hard in India to find a FREE & FAIR reports that can escape its midas touch! Actualy Ambanism has rooted to every sphere now, Kejri said.

Now Reliancee Bhai Limited had expressed multi-level concern about this anti-virus. They put the industry expert to spat on the credentials of Kej-persky's product!

As the new Kej-perky system cleaner has a inbuilt mass appeal,the AAM admi of this conutry also starting loving it. The copyleft software is now can be improvised by any AAM aadmi and use to clean up any institution.

It is compatible with different Anti-corrupt establishment software set by the rules of constitution, and already installed in the system by default. Kej-persky has one effective motivational module that activates the sleeping Anti-corrupt and system cleaning software and compel them to come to play its own role.

Kej-perskey has today publicly declared the  "AMBANISM VIRUS" that is identified, and  he activated the FIR module already. He will command the system  accordingly to start the process to remove it completely from the system. 

But it is really tough job ahead! The sysytem & people involved or effected by this virus even do not want to acknowledge its existence. Most of the people even raise huge doubts, and putting question on the credibility of Kej-perskey itself.
Key Ministers of this soil also making statements and expressing concern about this virus. They are saying, we are accustomed to this file handling system. We are happy to work with this "Ambanism", Its really a good corporate program, that smooths corporate processes in India. "Its not a virus!" as Said by the Tenth pass minister.

He claimed, Kej-persisky has no knowledge how to run a file system, and where is their relevant experience, its a chillar company? He said, Kej-persky is  actually itself a virus coming up to corrupt the established file systems. They are even funded by foreign seed money! We are all happy without that. Our file system running smoothly, without it. And we really do not want to experiment with such Anarchist program! He appealed the his citizens saying, "Kej-persiky is a virus program actually, not a cleaner!"


But Kejri the CEO, has claimed the opposite. Lets watch the real game now. Game has started, with the powers of Information Technology. 

And, as per market, you can also try the new Kej-persky once to clean up our own system for sure!

Thursday, 30 January 2014

maidmedia

NOW ITS MANDATORY,
TO STUDY "SUCCESS STORY OF RAJIV SHUKKLA"
BEFORE  HOSTING AN INTERVIEW WITH Rahul-Baba!
*Sumu bai reports from Jha family, Mumbai
The Great "Indian Chatukar Sangha" has raised fair concern about the recent media interview by Rah-ul Baba. They have given it 5 star rating in terms of entertainment. They said, People generally complains that, netas don't entertain their voice. But Ra-Baba has given full entertainment on his voice itself! Praise him, praise him, they said, and followed by sounds of claps around.

And many media personalities, Film personalities, Politicos, even high Voltage Music directors also endorsed this certification through their posts on twitter.

Twitter has also expressed concern just after that interview, they faced flood of tweets per minute from this subcontinent. And at irst instance, they have reported FBI suspecting a jehadi attack by prospective hackers! Later on TRPs of the "Joking Now" Channel has confirmed them about the real participation of people on the whole show. They also had a relief of sigh, and thankfully increased the rate of advertisement on their site!

Maidnews sources said, Guyanese book of world records also reviewing the various facts and data to "Justify" the claim of the "Greates show on Earth" filed by the Chatukar Sangha from India.

Sangha spokesperson Sonjoy Jha had three sleepless nights after the show. He is really busy to find out/discover out the REAL ESSENCE and Message out of the funny show. His team has given commendable effort, and taken reference of many double meaning hindi movies to sort our some EPITOME out of the much enjoyed epic episode of "Frankly Joking with Arnav".

Even big big socialites expressed their concern about the fate of Kapil's Comedy nights, and warned the news channels to limit their periphery of putting the news first and not to encroach the boundary of entertainment channels. 

Even due to the standard of answers of the show, some activists demands it to re-telecast it in POGO or Nickelodeon. Some extreme fans also suggest Arnav to notice the mental maturity of the Person he interviews, otherwise human rights commission may put him some notice accusing child abuse at some point of time.
SIMILAR BOOKS HITTING
BOOK STANDS NOW

"Chatukar sangha" also raised, question about the knowledge base of Arnav also. Does he not know, about the journey of Rajiv Shukkla? How he connected his ladder of success since his first interview with the official Mom of Rah-ul Baba. Now see, where he reached! At least Arnav should care about his career, Jha said, and must have paid some attention to Shukklaji's success story.

How many years will you fight TRP battles in Super Prime time? You can have your dozen of TV channels, if you can prove yourself in such interviews! An well-wisher of Arnav from Assam twitted!

Now, "Chatukar Sangha" has made it clear to all concerned. They will only allow to hold an interview if the anchor has studied thoroughly the "SUCCESS STORY OF RAJIV SUHKKLA"ji.

His journey from Journo to Rajya sabha, MP from Congres, having Home minister from BeeJAYPEE family, Connecting India, corporate to Babus, Babus to neta, neta to High Command! His Skills and abilities has made him owner of few TV channels, Cricket Business etc. A truthful & real inspiring story of a Indian Journalist, that the fraternity must know!

So, to help them, "Chatukar sangha" has uploaded his biography on their website. Next time, who ever apply for Rah-ul baba's interview, they have to face three hrs conventional school type exam based on this success story. Who ever proves that, he or she got these lessons by-heart, only will qualify for the TRP game!

All the best. Wishing you a bright future ahead. 

SNEX IN THE CITY

SUNNY LEONI LINGERIE GOES MISSING: THANK GOD, SHE FOUND IT ON MEDIA HEADLINES
In Who cares GANGARAM
Mode!

Now, Sunny confirms her belief that she is really in a crazy world. And the media people are so much sensitive to celebrates, that you really cannot even imagine! They found a very important incident in the country that happened, and the Indian media take it as a matter of national shame!

"National Reporters say that after some scenes of Ragini MMS-2, Sunny wearing grey coloured lingerie were shot, the crew was aghast to see the same missing from the sets. “Sunny is extremely particular about her lingerie and likes to wearing the best brands. Accordingly, lingerie from Victoria’s Secret —costing approximately Rs 50,000 — was ordered online,” says the source, adding that when the same was stolen from the sets, the producers had to order the same product again". 

But in reality as reported by our maidnews reporter, Kamla bai, Sunny thought, it happens. Some times small things does get misplaced. And after getting vast experience of shooting a lot "birthday suit videos" aboard, how does it really matter you wear it or not. But she is now happy that she found it on every major media headlines. 

The matter become the "Talk of the town"! Secret sources indicated that producers of the Film Ragini MMS-2 has gifted the tiny clothes (described as "stolen items" in media) to some of the over enthusiastic reporter of entertainment arena, entertaining her crush for it. Producers now thanking all from the concerned fraternity for the Media attention that their film got, at the cost of a used "gift"!

Critics though sensed the pulse of this media Gimmick! They wrote, If recent incidents in the industry are anything to go by, publicity stunts have hit a new low! Really reaching below waist?

But the target was achieved successfully.  Our maid kamlabai has heard the voices of the producer whispering Sunny, "Really Indian Media proved it again, they are really the GOD of SMALL THINGs"

Monday, 27 January 2014

POLITRIX

Tonight Arnav will crack the Biggest Political Joke of 2014: in "Frankly Joking with Arnav"
*RaGa-NaMo Reports
Advertisements flying in air, creating big laughs in India and in 120 countries across the globe. Its carries the timing of the program, "Frankly Joking with Arnav Tonight".
NAMESAKE PROGRAMS ARE ALSO
PLANNED IN ANOTHER CHANNELS
TO COMPETE

Sources said, Facebook, twitter campaigns have been launched in high pitches to attract people to catch "Joking Now" at the right time of cracking the Biggest Joke of 2014.

But, some serious and pessimist people has twitted back to the channel to clarify their doubts.

Everyone being habituated of declaring the BEST or BIGGEST achievement of the year at year end. But self proclaimed trend-setter of Indian Entertainment industry Arnav has discovered a new path again. After inventing the "Super Prime-time" in the TV slots, and pricing it super charges to the sponsors, he has declared his new invention to the public domain.

"Darling arnav, its only January Man! how can you judge tonight, it will the biggest Joke of the Year. Still 11 months yet to come. You never know, there will be more and even Bigger jokes you will be cracking in this current calender year. This year still will give you another 48 weeks with 5 week-nights more to you, to find a bigger joke..."-writes Audience Rebello from Goa via facebook.

Another fan from Delhi writes, "...do you remember, you cracked the joke of Aam Admi Party getting 8 to 10 seats in your "Khool the Pool" drama, staged on Joking now, around 8 Dec.... People yet not have recovered from belly pain, after laughing on that Great joke. And now itself you are cracking another.... declaring its the BIGGEST of the year 2014. Remember it is covered within the same Fiscal year(to remind your people calculating revenues per joke!)"

People love Arnav so much and love to call him "Justice Arnav", who posses the  heavenly credibility to justify his own jokes. Ever, ever, never, never fails to put forward justification for safeguarding the fourth pillar of his TRP House.

Honey Tehran of Laundrynews.com has sent inbox quarries to Arnav already. She queried about lot more doubts raising from the promo of the joke.

We saw Arnav saying, "i have to do justice with my questions Rah-ul Gee!" By the way.... Tehran, then, asked, will the questions to be accompanied with gifts of justice Arnav.. oh, its a good combo-offer you never offer! 

Like, Arnav Asking Rah-ul Gee about corruption and Land deals, and justice will be given in this way, skipping about Robert Gee!

Like, Arnav asking Rah-ul Gee about Anarchy on the streets, Arnav will do justice by skipping 1984 hunting on Delhi streets!

Like, Arnav aksing Rah-ul Gee about Internal Democracy in a political party, skipping a mother and son holds the President & Vice-president of a "national" party. Also skipping the High Command word that mocks his speech on this kind of hypocrisy!

Like Rah-ul says about the tradition of not declaring PM candidates name, and its a tradition of being selected by the newly elected MPs. Arnav will do justice skipping that, MPs can not say anything, rather than to readout the written order from High Command! Like skipping the popular dialogue "Sab ka Malik ek hain".

Like focusing the strengths and potentials of Rah-ul Gee only, will do justice by skipping points like 
"Mere Paas Maa Hein! 

Honey jee also pointed out the many dimensions of calling the "Frankly Joking" tonight's show,  as it is already termed as the "Biggest Political Joke of  2014".

It may be the Biggest in terms of the Sponsorship figure. It may be 
the Biggest in terms of the fees of the host paid. It may be the family involved, the biggest and also heavy weighted in Indian politics.

It may be the Biggest in terms of the biggest well orchestrated interview, managed professionally by Japanese (As a mark of bi-lateral ties knotted by the visiting chief  guest to the Republic day parade), creating few new chapters in Indian history.

It may be 
the Biggest in terms of the cost, budget provision made to match the higher rates of the super prime time! Or it may be the biggest in terms of the things to cover up during the show. Or it may be the biggest in terms of the effort of the host to showcase "Fully Blossomed flower from a rotten seed"! Making it a biggest task with a limited time!

Joking Media experts suspects, even Kapil has feared to loose his audience tonight. He is also feeling the heat of rising of new Comedy Kings in India.

Such many questions are flying from Twitter to facebook, inbox to the walls. We pray to the God, Let the people of the dying economy, crying country have a great laugh tonight. Best wishes to Arnav da for cracking the biggest joke. All the best, enjoy and take rest.

Tuesday, 10 December 2013

POLITRIX

Why Master chef GOD-Curry failing to perform at DILLI DARBAR?

-Shielabai reports from Darbar Hall



People had lot of faith on him, as he is from the land of GANAPATI and promoter of "Kamana PURTI" group through out his life. GOD-CURRY jee had lot of credit for making GOOD Khisris out of nothing.


People came to know his credibility after his famous recipe came to the national media. He secretly made his driver as the director of his company, as he use SIMPLE boiled potato to make a FIVE star menu product with a secret recipe! Every Indian cook praised his performance and given the title of Master chef since then.

His fame of cooking good "khisris" got him the responsibility of the much known DILLI DARBAR.

But due to the heavy cold in Delhi, he failed here to perform and not able to deliver the much sought "God-Curry's SARKAR". He said, due to the drastic change in weather, he is not being able to WARM up even the TAWAS to the required temperature. All fire-woods has been found missing and suspected to be stolen by Aam Admi to light up their kitchen!

Now, GOD-Curry feeling helpless, but still people calling him, and asking "whats cooking?". And he is feeling frustrations now, explaining the back-door scene! 

But People still not loosing faith on the MASTER CHEF, & hoping that, he will manage. He know the best way to take on these type of "Chillar" problems!

People still waiting for his "Harsh-Vardan Platter" to have it as soon as possible, in DILLI DARBAR!